So as I was saying in my two posts below that I have this recorded audio of my phone conversation with my father, while it is great to have it but at the same time it hurts me more listening to it over and over again knowing that I could only listen to the same words and his voice now.
The realization strikes me after this one minute conversation I had with him that no matter what I do, no matter how I try to convince myself that my father is not dead, that somehow contradicted to the reality.
My father is already gone!!! Whenever I talk with somebody who also experienced losing a loved one, it always brings tears to my eyes and pain is always there, it seemed never go away!
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