What Is This I'm Feeling?

I read an article on the internet a long time ago about how women who have just given birth experienced what they call "postpartum depression". Most women would experience this right after giving birth, others it would take months for postpartum depression to kick in and a few won't start suffering postpartum depression after a year of having a baby.

Now in connection with this strange feeling I am having right now, can it be postpartum depression? There is a slight chance that this could be it or I might be feeling "Summer blues"? I don't feel good inside, honestly. I hate it and I don't want to be feeling this way. What I have right now is the same feelings I have had two weeks after I gave birth to Jadyn. I feel unwanted, I feel ignored, worthless, lonely and all other negative thoughts running in my mind, I don't want to do anything else but go home. I am happy most of the time but then there were moments when I get really bored usually during late afternoon or at bedtime that is when all these nega feelings strike me.

Or if this is just summer blues, I am optimistic it will just go away after summer is over. For six years of living here in the US, homesickness seems my greatest enemy in this world. I can't seem to get over this feeling and it attacks me every summer. It is around this time when I want to do something outside and I cannot because of the unbearable heat. I feel like there is nowhere else to go!

How I wish to be able to open up with someone but I don't think I am comfortable enough to do that. The only person whom I can confide things to is gone. My father! He is gone, I truly believe he was the only person that would listen to me and not make fun of me. Ahhh... now I'm talking three things now... homesickness, summer blues/postpartum depression and missing my father.... tabang Lord!