$ Blessed

As 2017 hit, I got lucky with blogging. My 2016 ended great for I got a job earlier than I targeted to find it. When 2017 entered, I am blessed way more than I deserve. My blogging has awaken and I earned quite a few $, when I say a few means I transferred over $500 to my bank account from Paypal early February.

Thank God for direct advertisers, they don't come always but when they do, rest assured it will be "bongga" or grand!

Working as a hostess isn't easy. I have to walk a lot for the entire 8 hours on duty with little rest, with that said, I appreciate blogging more these days because there were days I earned $100 for just an hour sitting on my computer, compare that to going to my regular job when I don't sweat at all, just use a little bit of my brain to come up with minimum words they require.

$ blessed me and I am grateful!

 

Done with All My Tasks

Thank God I am finally done with all ten tasks online before noon. I can now log off the computer and probably get some nap if I can. I am just awfully tired right now. All I want to do is lay down and stay there for a couple of hours.

I cannot believe I still have the power to write my tasks plus a few interims along with it because it has been such a long time since I am being rained on with blessings like this today.

Off to bed I go even though it's only 11:42 at noon. Feeling like it's midnight already, haha! Yes, that's how tired I am.

 

 

Not Totally Forgetting

One that claimed I totally forgetting my family in the Philippines, he's wrong. If I have forgotten them I would have not sent them a balikbayan box which arrived first week of November. It has got a lot of stuff in it and chocolates, that was their Christmas present from us here in the US.

Although I avoided sending them monetary support, rest assured I still be sending them boxes in months to come. I just cannot afford sending them money and some of it will go to my SOB brothers' vices because my mother is weak!

She can't say no to them, so whenever they harass her with money, all she could do is give it to them.

Me sending them boxes still does not make me the bad guy, does it?

 

Advantages of Cutting Off My Family in My Life

I just recently known that my handsome brother who when times get tough with him financially would come to me and ask for help blocked me on Facebook simply because I stopped talking to his mother (read previous posts) in case you're curious why.

He even threatened that he and his wife would ignore me for life if I don't ask for apologies to his mother, heck! As if I am very scared, him without in my life as if I depend on him. Geezzz, he who needed me has the balls to say things like that while I am the one who he benefited from.

There are advantages for cutting off my family in the Philippines in my life . Two of which is that, my hard earned money is kept all by myself. Secondly, I gained peace of mind by not hearing their same old crap of their life, nothing ever changed since I gave them so much help, so I quit!

For all they know, I am better off without them. I am busy with my own business here in America, so who the hell cares if he doesn't want to talk to me ever????

Nothing Has Changed

Most of the people that know me are aware that I am not in good term with most of my family back home. It's been months since I have not sent them any financial support because they pissed me off especially my mother. She tolerated her sons' wrongdoings so she is the one to be blamed for  the miseries she is suffering right now. I asked my little sister once in a while if there is a little change with the way they live their life there but unfortunately, nothing has changed.

As they continue living miserably and not thinking of at least saying no to her sons, she will not hear anything from me or receive any financial blessing because I don't want to become like her. She is being disrespected by her children because she let them do it to her. She is being manipulated by those SOBS and all she does is nag at them which is very ineffective.

She cannot even call the police when that severely addicted son of hers sold some of the things she left in the house, too afraid that he'd get back at her once he's out of jail or she probably love him too much that she just let him be. Sad truth!

The hell I care about them anymore. I live my life the way it is and thankful I am thousands of miles away from them so I can be peaceful.

I am Cursed yet I am Blessed

Someone in the Philippines is smoking mad at me right now for not sending her financial support since February this year. Not my fault. And yes, I've heard a lot of bad-mouthing from her towards me, I could care less. She curse me and I am blessed. I am blessed more than ever. So, now who's the loser?

She'll be eaten alive with all her bitterness and anger, I will not be able to hear all of them because I am thousands of miles away from her and I am thankful I am. I live a happy and peaceful life with my own family and that is all that matters to me now. No stress, no worries and only have minor problems if there are any.

Thank You, God for continuing to bless me with good health, safety, good family and marriage and oh well, financially as well.

Your Life, Your Worry

You have your life, I got mine. Your life, your worry. I worry mine and I have nothing to do with yours since the day you chose your favorite son. Whatever's going on with your life, suck it up.

As for me here, I am enjoying my life with my own family. I am having peace of mind here so I should not get myself involved with the messy life you choose to live. My obligation to you has ended when you did not listen to me.

No matter what people say, I just have to be firm so you'll know I am not a child anymore who you used to manipulate and boss around.

I wanted you to have an easy life, I helped you out and showed my concern to you yet you ignored that. What can I do? I will not continue to be nice to people who obviously do not see my care.

Productive and Blessed Morning

Wow! After a while of not updating my blogs, I find it hard to believe that I actually wrote 5 entries for my tasks and inserted two personal entries in two blogs. It's one of those days that I feel productive and do something worthwhile on the internet.

Since blogging had slowed down, I don't update my blog as often as I used to in my earlier blogging years. But then, God has given me five tasks yesterday which I now able to publish today, my blogging energy has somewhat kicked in.

I truly feel I am productive so early in the morning and is way blessed more than I expected. Thank You so much Lord for the outpouring blessings everyday!

I may have to write some more later when I have the time. It's about time to go across the street and take care of the elderly woman then I plan on getting on the treadmill and elliptical when I come back an hour and a half later.

 

Assisting My Elderly Neighbor

Wow! Now I can relate to other people who shouted with pride on Facebook that they received their first paycheck! I know how it feels now that I got mine! Woohooo! Although it's not my first time being compensated of doing something or offering my service to people because I have received countless $$ from my blogging before but this time it's different. It's the first time I actually earn this much rendering my time and service to other people from outside the home and it's a physical check, hello. It's the first time I actually got hold of something physically. Whereas blogging money goes directly to my Paypal and from there to my bank account.

A neighbor across the street approached me two weeks ago if I could go to her mother's house and do little things for her mother on certain days.

I see it as a blessing because it is not everyday we are being blessed like this with the Lord, ang grasya na niduol, ika nga! I am thankful because now I have part time that I can spend my time with. I honestly don't feel like it's a job. Going to the neighbor's house is like visiting a friend and see how she's doing. It is so convenient for me and my child and the schedules are flexible!

Aside from that, the elderly is nice and a good person. She gets happy and smiling when we enter in her house and for that I am beginning to fall for her, treating and respecting her like my own grandmother. She is very old and I can only pray she lives another year so we can see her longer. Mind you people, she is 102 years old, going 103 in December!

Anyway, since my secondborn has been good to me everytime we go visit the neighbor, I told her that I would buy her rainbow dash as her prize for being a good girl everytime!

Should I Be Excited?

In two weeks time, that anticipated big trip to my home country is coming. All our bags have been packed 5 weeks before our travel date. Excited? Obviously, yes! So many reasons to be excited about whenever I take a vacation to the country I grew up in.

I so look forward to eating all the seafood I can buy at the wet market, all the native delicacies and street food like chicken intestine bbq, gizard, chicken feet, grilled fresh fish, going to the beach, visiting my grandmother's place in the mountain over looking a green lush trees and a waterfall.

Another reason to be excited is that my cousin that I have not seen for over two decades finally decides to wait for my arrival before going to the other country to join her boyfriend. We have been talking back and forth whether to meet up this time or not, while she seems so excited going back to her boyfriend's arms, she is also depriving me of seeing her this time.

Yesterday she broke the news about her tourist visa approval and then she'd wait for me. While that can be great to hear, I am not sure whether to rely to her words this time or shall I expect for a change of plan in the next coming days? Several times in the past we talked about seeing each other in our place but non of that ever happened. I just hope this time, she'd make up her mind and decide to really seal the deal. Cross fingers!

Couldn't Find the Tickets I Want

We're in the 20's of Feb now. I have been looking for cheaper tickets to the Philippines for June but I am having a hard time finding them that suit our budget. June is peak season for travelers and airline companies are charging sky-high on their tickets.

There were cheaper ones in the past two weeks but did not book them right away as I have waited for our travel agent to give us a deal on them but, I found out that her tickets were higher than the Korean Air offered so I turned her down. A week later after that, I still couldn't find and didn't see the price I liked.

I am not losing hope though. Prices are changing from time to time and that airline companies change prices during weekdays and early days of the week. That might be true, because it was on Tuesday and Wednesday I've seen the not so expensive tickets. Hoping to get three soon so I can have a peace of mind, I am also now very tired digging from site to site whenever I am online.

All Done

I just finished all of my online tasks which took me three days to do it all. Before, I could write more than twenty entries including personal posts in between my paid posts but since blogging has been really sleeping, updating my blogs nowadays seem tiring.

Now that I am done, I can move on with another task I am wishing to do today. I plan of making a birthday slideshow for my firstborn to be share on my FB wall tomorrow celebrating her big day but I don't know if I will be able to do that today since I have to dig deeper in my hard drive for her birth photos.

I hate to do slideshows but what choice do I get? With all the editing, enhancing, putting captions on each picture and choosing music for it is a lot of hassle and truly time consuming. I would say, it takes me 2 hours or more to make a simple and short slideshow, atimana!

Where Did the Time Go?

Tomorrow will be my firstborn's 7th birthday. I cannot almost believe that I now have a 7-year old girl who for me will always be my first baby. J is such a sweet and truly a good girl. When I scold her, she wouldn't talk back at me like what I did to my mother when I was growing up. I am glad she doesn't do that or I might have to think that the curse is slapping at me, haha.

Anyway, I am just happy to have cared and witnessed my girl's growth and all her developments. From the moment she was born until now, I can see she is growing to be healthy ( except for her bowel movement problems since she was 3) , has happy heart, full of life and most of all a loving child. I love her to death and I can't wait to take her to a happy place where she can play a lot and have a blast.

 

 

The Crush that I Was so Infatuated with

Can you believe it? When years have passed you haven't seen nor have any idea that the person you used to be so infatuated with during your elementary years have changed so much? I mean, drastically changed physically? I had this crush when I was in grade four until grade six that for me he was the handsomest "boy" alive. He had this fair or white skin and you know white skin in the Philippines, people view you as "attractive". He had this cute red kissable lips, a pair of tantalizing eyes, he was neat and carried his clothes really well, he was known for being quiet and well behaved boy in school. He had very flawless facial skin, a smile that melted me every time he flashed it and I saw it. Those are just a few of his characteristics why I had a crush on him. I can go on forever enumerating those but I am not gonna bore you with that.

Twenty years later, I found him on Facebook,  I added him  to my list. I would hit "like" on his pictures and he would do to mine occasionally. Looking at his pictures now, it is almost unbelievable that the once I so infatuated with is no longer handsome. He now has deep spots on his face which is obvious from having acne during his teenage years, he got dark and I don't see the neatness of his clothing on the pictures anymore. What happened to him?

Amazing how people can transform physically into good or bad. The kids in school that I thought were pretty and good-looking are no longer attractive in my opinion. Or maybe because I have changed preference when it comes to looking at faces? Since high school, I no longer look at Filipino guys on their face. I became picky and found that Americans were way far more attractive in my eyes than them!

We Have an Excuse

It's winter and it's cold outside even if we do have mild winter here in Texas compared to other states up north. How I wanted to go for a walk outside but I can't. I just can't. I don't wanna be sick and the temperature is unbearable for fragile body haha.

When it's winter, there's not much you can do around, just mostly clean the house a bit, cook, eat and sleep and no exercise at all resulting to bulging belly and flatter behind. What can I do? I feel so lazy with bone chilling temperature, gloomy days and all.

My husband once told me, we have an excuse because it's winter. While it's great, I so look forward to working on my abdomen once Spring is here. I promise that to myself.

I Wasn't Crazy Yet

I went to the mall today with my second born right after I was done from my dental cleaning. At Macy's I saw this very beautiful blue necklace and a pair of earrings that match to it. The sign says save up to 60% off when you take an additional 30% off. It had red stickers on it that totals $20 for two items, I thought I was gonna get another 30% off from it but to my dismay the total amount did not change at the register so I had to cancel my purchase and put it back.

It was just so disappointing because of all the fashion jewelry I looked at today, it was the only one that stood out and really got me interested in buying. Yes, it was beautiful but it was still pricey despite of the percentage they were advertising. I had to leave the store empty-handed and not buying the one I really really liked.

In my mind, I wasn't crazy yet to spend $20 on fashion jewelry. I know I can buy stuff a lot less than that and so much prettier someday. I just have to keep an open eye on it and for deals to come.

Thankful for the Grace

It's been too long since I blog for money.  I honestly missed those days where I earn everyday from my blogs. It's been too long that I have not received raining tasks but today, God has showered me some. I am grateful for it, it means a few dollars to come to my Paypal next month.

It is not everyday I received stars from the sheriff and for that I couldn't be more thankful. I am in need of $$ as always for I have a family waiting for my support every month in the Philippines and there is no way I can stop my obligation to them as long as my mother is alive. Another thing, I need to save up some more for our vacation in June. As expected it is going to be a big expense not just for my husband for he has to pay for the tickets but for myself as well. I do use my own money for allowance while in my country, you know?

God Has Brought So Much Joy to Me on Christmas!

Somehow God is real, God is alive and hears my woes. He knows exactly how I feel. He knows I have been so disappointed with regards of the lawsuit that until now is not over. He knows I am hurting and that He cheered me up just before His birthday.

He blessed us with something we didn't expect in a form of financial surprise. I had planned of visiting my home country in June next year but when we received that outstanding bill from our lawyers, I felt disappointed and was so down. I just thought maybe we can make it in 2016, by then we can have a budget for our trip. My days were so dark that I really felt bad inside.

Until Christmas eve came, an unexpected check from my husband's previous home and car insurance company sent us a refund with an amount enough to send me and my kids to the Philippines! How amazing God's love is? He had his way of cheering me up when I was so down! Thank You, Lord for hearing my woes and for loving me! I am one happy woman right now for I can now surely visit my family in the Philippines.

All I am waiting now is to contact our travel agent to help me find cheaper tickets for June. Yeeehawww!!

I Never Felt this Poor!

Today was the last day of Macy's big sale and I went to their store. I knew I did not have anything in mind to buy but I went anyway, I needed to breathe some fresh air after two weeks of just going to and from school and home. We all need it anyway, aren't we?

As soon as I got into their handbags department, the commotion that women made, grabbing excitedly some MK handbags rushing to check out was just unbelievable and belittling. In my mind, I was thinking wow if only I had the budget... I was there feeling, touching the feel of MK handbags, looking at tags, staring at the SALE signs even if it says "additional 40% off already reduced prices", still it was expensive for someone who doesn't have a job nor a source of income to support my "want".

I hanged in that area for a couple more minutes as if I would buy one for me too but sadly, I couldn't... no matter how I wanted it. I moved to the watches department, there I found an affordable Charter Club watch for under $30, it's not for me but a gift for my mother for my next trip to the Philippines.

I went to the second level of Macy's and there I browsed some more. Looked like the situation played with my feeling even more. I had two bath towels and a twin sheet set for Jadyn's bed and that's it. The women in front of me falling in line to check out comparing their MK coats which ones are of best quality and best price. I then again was shaking my head.

If only we weren't this tight with money due to legal fees, if only I had a job... so many if only's that make me look at myself as the "poorest" in America. I hate this feeling! I am a woman and as a normal human being, I can't help but get overrun by that feeling of wanting to buy something I don't need. If only I was not thinking of my children or husband who works hard to support his family, I could just go ahead and buy that expensive handbag that isn't important and useless. I don't need any more handbags, I got a couple middle brands in my closet that I've collected over the years, most of them are like new for I rarely use them. They are kept with a dust bag. I have all kinds of sizes and styles I like, right there in my closet yet my mind keeps getting jealous of women who bought bags today.

But because I am not spoiled or materialistic person, I just stopped myself from wasting money that my husband worked hard to earn.

I should not be feeling this way because for so many reasons; we got quite a big house that have been paid off, no cars to pay monthly, we are all healthy, we keep up with our bills but the idea of the over thousand dollars legal bills every month makes me feel poor. Arggsss. Lord, help us. When is this going to be over?

 

Don't Talk When You Are Mad

One thing I learned from the past couple of days is  not to open your mouth when you are mad, otherwise, you'll end up regretting later for saying words that could potentially hurt someone and those words can't be taken back. It happened to me years ago and I regretted that so much.

Last week, I received a feedback from our home in Cebu about my mother washed someone else's throw up, this someone is not related to us or anything, except that she has a relationship with my younger brother. Upon knowing that she sleeps with him in our own house occasionally, I couldn't help but be furious about it. Such a curse to do that, I have always been conservative all my life and bringing a woman to our house to sleep with is just so against my views.

What I did, I called them and scolded my brother, throwing him hurtful words. I was gonna humiliate him and the girl publicly but something inside me tells me to wait and call back my mother to confirm one thing. I am glad I did, or else those two people will be very very embarrassed by my actions.

I feel awful after saying those unpleasant things to my brother on the phone but I am not taking them back just so he knows I am not in favor of him bringing a woman in our house while they're still in their early stage of their relationship.