I Never Felt this Poor!

Today was the last day of Macy's big sale and I went to their store. I knew I did not have anything in mind to buy but I went anyway, I needed to breathe some fresh air after two weeks of just going to and from school and home. We all need it anyway, aren't we?

As soon as I got into their handbags department, the commotion that women made, grabbing excitedly some MK handbags rushing to check out was just unbelievable and belittling. In my mind, I was thinking wow if only I had the budget... I was there feeling, touching the feel of MK handbags, looking at tags, staring at the SALE signs even if it says "additional 40% off already reduced prices", still it was expensive for someone who doesn't have a job nor a source of income to support my "want".

I hanged in that area for a couple more minutes as if I would buy one for me too but sadly, I couldn't... no matter how I wanted it. I moved to the watches department, there I found an affordable Charter Club watch for under $30, it's not for me but a gift for my mother for my next trip to the Philippines.

I went to the second level of Macy's and there I browsed some more. Looked like the situation played with my feeling even more. I had two bath towels and a twin sheet set for Jadyn's bed and that's it. The women in front of me falling in line to check out comparing their MK coats which ones are of best quality and best price. I then again was shaking my head.

If only we weren't this tight with money due to legal fees, if only I had a job... so many if only's that make me look at myself as the "poorest" in America. I hate this feeling! I am a woman and as a normal human being, I can't help but get overrun by that feeling of wanting to buy something I don't need. If only I was not thinking of my children or husband who works hard to support his family, I could just go ahead and buy that expensive handbag that isn't important and useless. I don't need any more handbags, I got a couple middle brands in my closet that I've collected over the years, most of them are like new for I rarely use them. They are kept with a dust bag. I have all kinds of sizes and styles I like, right there in my closet yet my mind keeps getting jealous of women who bought bags today.

But because I am not spoiled or materialistic person, I just stopped myself from wasting money that my husband worked hard to earn.

I should not be feeling this way because for so many reasons; we got quite a big house that have been paid off, no cars to pay monthly, we are all healthy, we keep up with our bills but the idea of the over thousand dollars legal bills every month makes me feel poor. Arggsss. Lord, help us. When is this going to be over?

 

I Wish He Would Listen

It's the New Year yet I don't feel really good inside, to be honest. I kind of having that blues and the urge to go home to cure it. For two days now, I made it known to my husband my feeling but I don't think he listen to me or even care about me. At least that is how I feel.

Last night I told him if he would let me live in the Philippines for a year and that I can find a decent school for our girls there but he just answered me with, "go ahead!. That hurts. What I wanted to hear from him is the assuring advice or voice from him but sadly, that did not come out from his mouth.

What do I do? Homesickness is beyond my control and there is no cure for it. My goal now is to be able to save enough money so that I can do it on my own without bothering him with financial help once I am there. I would really do it whether he likes it or not, I'll bring along my girls with me and if he wants to see them, he can come to the Philippines and see us!

I have no plan of relocating to the Philippines, all I wanted is stay there longer. I don't even want him in there with me for he will be the target of the corrupt people of my country, from taxi cab drivers to anybody who works for the government. These predators would look at a foreigner as their prey and I don't like the idea!

Because She Noticed Me

Very flattering, heart melting and soul fattening to know that someone in the group you belong notices, recognizes and knows you exist in blogging world! I was just in cloud 9 yesterday when one of the members wrote on the group's wall looking for me. That's her exact words from Facebook below I copied for remembrance hehe.

Raye Gregg

Wala na lagi ko ka kita kang Texas Sweetie diri.. Anne ba to iyang name? Ma pansin man gud to nako mag AH before kay cute kaayo iyang photo sa sidebar nang hiwi. haha! ;)

And to think this woman is not my friend personally nor met her aside from blogging world yet iya jud ko napansin... hohohoho thanks to her so much jud!  I feel important, bisan ingon ani ra diay ko naa pa jud diay mangita naku ug mawagtang ko! 

I know I got a few friends who are true that care and are concern of me and will also do the same as sis Raya but from a woman whom I only know through blogging has a different impact in my being. Thanks to her, she made me happy deep down inside.

Heavy Heart

As days get closer to our wedding anniversary, I also am getting those emotions that take me back to when me and my husband tied the knot. We were so happy back then and even until now of course... it is different today because we already have a big family. Also, I have been missing my father so much that I could almost cry when I went to bed last night.

It has been almost a year we all without a father and yes, he passed away on the day we celebrated our 7th year wedding anniversary. This is going to be his first death anniversary yet the wound of losing him is still fresh. Life, why it has to be this way?

Opening Up

It is always nice to be able to express yourself especially when you are boiling up inside. I heard the most unpleasant name that my husband called me last night but I did not react to this because I thought it was true. He was also pissed at me being pissed at something.

I was just tired and wanting to rest, I couldn't. The little one clinging into me for two straight hours. As soon as I arrived home hanging out with my friend at the mall, Megan never left me alone...she seemed to miss me that much huh. I tried putting her down, in the crib with milk but when she finished all her milk she cried again wanting to be picked up.

I was spreading my negative energy in the house and surely the husband didn't like that, he called me BITCHY! Duh keber I was tired! I explained to him what was going on and I hope he got me. When my mood gets sour that means something is going on inside me. I needed help with the baby and he was in the garage, relaxing and sipping his beer... arggsss how unfair is that?

Anyway, I hope he now has an idea that when my temper heats up meaning I need his help. It feels good after I told him what had happened.

I Feel He Is So Alive

Two night ago my little one played with my cellphone and she accidentally pushed a button that opened a recorded audio that I didn't know exist in my phone. I listened to it and found out that it was a phone conversation of me and my father I made a long time ago.

It was so nice to hear my father's voice once again. I feel he is so alive and just couldn't believe I now actually have a great remembrance of how he sounded like when he was still alive.

I missed my father everyday of my life! If only I could turn back the time... I know he is happy where he is now and is watching over us. 'Pa, wherever you are, please know that we are here missing you so much!

The Life I Have To Live

So this is the life I have to live for the rest of my days here on Earth. Calling back home not having anyone or my father to answer the phone. It sucks and it hurts me so much knowing that I can no longer hear my father's voice, his real genuine laughter and joyous heart no longer exist because he went to the other side of the world.

I just called to the Philippines seconds ago and the phone just kept ringing. Nobody was home, no one knew I called! The heck it sucks! If my father was still alive, guaranteed my call wouldn't be missed for he was always there ready and waiting for my call, anytime! How awful it is to know that I cannot call to our house in Cebu if it is not the weekend because people there aren't home.

Kamingaw ba? Wa naku'u Papa nga maka estorya sa telepono, magkinataw-anay ug mag linibakay sa mga taw nga libakonon kaayo! Paaaaaaaaa namiya man ka ug sayo intawn? Sa kalit ikaw ning panaw way paalam, kasakit pamalandungon maayo pa gani ta nag estorya last Sept.29 and 30,2011 and two weeks later...you were gone!!!! Kasakit sa akong dughan gibyaan lang kog kalit ug amahan hohoho!

The Life I Have To Live

So this is the life I have to live for the rest of my days here on Earth. Calling back home not having anyone or my father to answer the phone. It sucks and it hurts me so much knowing that I can no longer hear my father's voice, his real genuine laughter and joyous heart no longer exist because he went to the other side of the world.

I just called to the Philippines seconds ago and the phone just kept ringing. Nobody was home, no one knew I called! The heck it sucks! If my father was still alive, guaranteed my call wouldn't be missed for he was always there ready and waiting for my call, anytime! How awful it is to know that I cannot call to our house in Cebu if it is not the weekend because people there aren't home.

Kamingaw ba? Wa naku'u Papa nga maka estorya sa telepono, magkinataw-anay ug mag linibakay sa mga taw nga libakonon kaayo! Paaaaaaaaa namiya man ka ug sayo intawn? Sa kalit ikaw ning panaw way paalam, kasakit pamalandungon maayo pa gani ta nag estorya last Sept.29 and 30,2011 and two weeks later...you were gone!!!! Kasakit sa akong dughan gibyaan lang kog kalit ug amahan hohoho!

He Doesn't Care At All

I am so pissed at someone right now...or shall I say, my husband and I are both so very pissed at someone who doesn't care other human beings. How could he do this to us? While he is there enjoying his money, he left his relatives and other family hanging in the dark. When is he gonna do something and execute the will? When? When?....when..when when??? Huh??????

We got plans to improve this house but it won't be initiated unless we have enough funds for the jobs to get started. Huh....greedy son of a b.......I so want to ask his live in woman what's going on with him but I was told by my husband I am giving him a satisfaction by letting him know of our discomfort...GIATAY JUD TAWHANA GO TO HELL! Pag ka guapo guapo ug dagway animal diay kaayo ug batasan!!

He Doesn't Care At All

I am so pissed at someone right now...or shall I say, my husband and I are both so very pissed at someone who doesn't care other human beings. How could he do this to us? While he is there enjoying his money, he left his relatives and other family hanging in the dark. When is he gonna do something and execute the will? When? When?....when..when when??? Huh??????

We got plans to improve this house but it won't be initiated unless we have enough funds for the jobs to get started. Huh....greedy son of a b.......I so want to ask his live in woman what's going on with him but I was told by my husband I am giving him a satisfaction by letting him know of our discomfort...GIATAY JUD TAWHANA GO TO HELL! Pag ka guapo guapo ug dagway animal diay kaayo ug batasan!!

That A Was A Relief

I was bothered with this star rewards account I have in Macy's. It is an old statement and I just opened it last night. I am so concerned of having any late fees in the store and says here I will have a penalty for late payment of $15. Yikes, that's so scary because I am not willing to waste any amount of money for nothing unless of course I have unpaid balance in my account.

But as far as I know I paid it off a week after I used my card. Well, I called them just a minute ago and it somehow gave me a sigh of relief for I don't owe them anything instead Macy's owe me a dollar and few cents hekhek. Gosh I got panicked when I opened this account statement, as I've said it's a late statement for we misplaced it and it's been unopened for a month lolz.

Good thing I called them otherwise I will go crazy thinking about it all week. I tell you, it totally ruined the rest of my evening last night.

That A Was A Relief

I was bothered with this star rewards account I have in Macy's. It is an old statement and I just opened it last night. I am so concerned of having any late fees in the store and says here I will have a penalty for late payment of $15. Yikes, that's so scary because I am not willing to waste any amount of money for nothing unless of course I have unpaid balance in my account.

But as far as I know I paid it off a week after I used my card. Well, I called them just a minute ago and it somehow gave me a sigh of relief for I don't owe them anything instead Macy's owe me a dollar and few cents hekhek. Gosh I got panicked when I opened this account statement, as I've said it's a late statement for we misplaced it and it's been unopened for a month lolz.

Good thing I called them otherwise I will go crazy thinking about it all week. I tell you, it totally ruined the rest of my evening last night.

Filipino Mentality

Filipinos who never tried finding their destiny outside the country think that when you live abroad, you are living life in beds and roses. No matter how or what the educational attainment a person has, if he or she has pea-sized brain then she is shallow.

I had a chat with my neighbor back home, this girl already has a bachelor's degree in something I don't know. We knew each other since we were elementary, highschool and college. Amazingly we went to the same schools from elementary 'till college. I just recently found her on facebook and believe me, it felt good when you found someone in your hometown and knowing that you know the person too well.

Anyway, the other day we chatted again for the second time and she asked me when I am gonna come home and told her that I should save up some money first for the tickets and allowance while I'm there. Can you believe what she said? "KADATO U". I was like HUH? I was in disbelief she said that, she sounded immature and childish.

Yes, I am living in America but that doesn't mean I AM RICH for I am not and I never felt that way although I am more accustomed to comfort and convenience that America has to offer and have all my LUHO being given to me by my husband. Yet I still consider myself as average, I don't have that much money to be considered RICH. I blog to earn money for my financial aid to my family back home, my husband busted his ass working trying to make ends meet. Because in America, if you don't work, you can't eat, you can't pay the bills/mortgage and worse you will find yourself homeless.

My reply to her statement was simply, how can you say that? How do you know that? I didn't know I am rich! I was pissed.

Luckily, she didn't reply to my last chat otherwise MALAT-AN SA INSULTO BAYHANA!

Filipino Mentality

Filipinos who never tried finding their destiny outside the country think that when you live abroad, you are living life in beds and roses. No matter how or what the educational attainment a person has, if he or she has pea-sized brain then she is shallow.

I had a chat with my neighbor back home, this girl already has a bachelor's degree in something I don't know. We knew each other since we were elementary, highschool and college. Amazingly we went to the same schools from elementary 'till college. I just recently found her on facebook and believe me, it felt good when you found someone in your hometown and knowing that you know the person too well.

Anyway, the other day we chatted again for the second time and she asked me when I am gonna come home and told her that I should save up some money first for the tickets and allowance while I'm there. Can you believe what she said? "KADATO U". I was like HUH? I was in disbelief she said that, she sounded immature and childish.

Yes, I am living in America but that doesn't mean I AM RICH for I am not and I never felt that way although I am more accustomed to comfort and convenience that America has to offer and have all my LUHO being given to me by my husband. Yet I still consider myself as average, I don't have that much money to be considered RICH. I blog to earn money for my financial aid to my family back home, my husband busted his ass working trying to make ends meet. Because in America, if you don't work, you can't eat, you can't pay the bills/mortgage and worse you will find yourself homeless.

My reply to her statement was simply, how can you say that? How do you know that? I didn't know I am rich! I was pissed.

Luckily, she didn't reply to my last chat otherwise MALAT-AN SA INSULTO BAYHANA!

Early Day And Overtime

I was already informed by my husband last night that he had court first thing in the morning. As soon as he hit the bed, he went to dreamland right away. When I woke up this morning I didn't see him. He already left and it felt weird for I normally find him in the computer room reading his news upon getting up in the morning.

After court I actually expected him to come home to grab his work stuff and such but guess he brought them with him upon going to court for he did not drop by today. Then just minutes ago a text sent by him telling me that he is stuck and that he would be late for hours with all probability dealing with something at work.

Honestly, it struck me. While I am living a good life at home (although I am looking after the baby and doing some house chores) while he is out there chasing after bad guys, working hard to bring in money, I feel like I am of no help here at all. If only I can also help with our financial expenses then I wouldn't be wary right now.

Early Day And Overtime

I was already informed by my husband last night that he had court first thing in the morning. As soon as he hit the bed, he went to dreamland right away. When I woke up this morning I didn't see him. He already left and it felt weird for I normally find him in the computer room reading his news upon getting up in the morning.

After court I actually expected him to come home to grab his work stuff and such but guess he brought them with him upon going to court for he did not drop by today. Then just minutes ago a text sent by him telling me that he is stuck and that he would be late for hours with all probability dealing with something at work.

Honestly, it struck me. While I am living a good life at home (although I am looking after the baby and doing some house chores) while he is out there chasing after bad guys, working hard to bring in money, I feel like I am of no help here at all. If only I can also help with our financial expenses then I wouldn't be wary right now.

I Hate Bank Of America!!!!!!

We just arrived home an hour ago from a long trip in San Antonio. We had a safe trip but I got really "bad trip" when I received that small card notice from Bank Of America telling me that I have been charged two(2) $35s the last couple of days. Very depressing! How easy for them to take my money away, that is worth 2 weeks of blogging and they took it like that in a snap of a finger.

The story is this, I overdrawn my bank account due to two different transactions I made online. The original balance was 49 and I went to Pillow Pets' website to order their products, I do online shopping a lot so I expected after the transaction they would send me a notification regarding my order but there was none after 24 hours of waiting. So I did order again the following day...and guess what? wa gyapon e-mail that is when I decided to call the customer service, the man said that I should just call them again by Monday to cancel the second order (t'was Friday).

Monday came, I forgot to call, I assumed both of the transactions didn't get through. I opened the Macy's website and found two items that were on sale so I went ahead and ordered them because I assumed I still have my 49 dollars in my account. As expected there was an e-mail afterwards. This crazy pillow pets company isn't doing the right thing for letting their customers hang in the dark.

4 days after, the crazy e-mails I have been waiting for finally came telling me that my items have been shipped. I was like, WHAT???? Patay, I didn't have enough balance in my account anymore (kay nag shop na baya kos Macy's) so I expected it to be overdrawn.

That was what happened, BOA charged me overdrawn fee. But the card I got in the mail says, I should transfer money within 5 business days to avoid the fee but they already did it the very next day I overspent.

I pray I can win over my argument once we visit the bank this Friday, I will fight for my right for I know I'm right. I transfered money three days after the incident happened but why the hell they took my money away???? Why??

I Hate Bank Of America!!!!!!

We just arrived home an hour ago from a long trip in San Antonio. We had a safe trip but I got really "bad trip" when I received that small card notice from Bank Of America telling me that I have been charged two(2) $35s the last couple of days. Very depressing! How easy for them to take my money away, that is worth 2 weeks of blogging and they took it like that in a snap of a finger.

The story is this, I overdrawn my bank account due to two different transactions I made online. The original balance was 49 and I went to Pillow Pets' website to order their products, I do online shopping a lot so I expected after the transaction they would send me a notification regarding my order but there was none after 24 hours of waiting. So I did order again the following day...and guess what? wa gyapon e-mail that is when I decided to call the customer service, the man said that I should just call them again by Monday to cancel the second order (t'was Friday).

Monday came, I forgot to call, I assumed both of the transactions didn't get through. I opened the Macy's website and found two items that were on sale so I went ahead and ordered them because I assumed I still have my 49 dollars in my account. As expected there was an e-mail afterwards. This crazy pillow pets company isn't doing the right thing for letting their customers hang in the dark.

4 days after, the crazy e-mails I have been waiting for finally came telling me that my items have been shipped. I was like, WHAT???? Patay, I didn't have enough balance in my account anymore (kay nag shop na baya kos Macy's) so I expected it to be overdrawn.

That was what happened, BOA charged me overdrawn fee. But the card I got in the mail says, I should transfer money within 5 business days to avoid the fee but they already did it the very next day I overspent.

I pray I can win over my argument once we visit the bank this Friday, I will fight for my right for I know I'm right. I transfered money three days after the incident happened but why the hell they took my money away???? Why??