Nothing Has Changed

Most of the people that know me are aware that I am not in good term with most of my family back home. It's been months since I have not sent them any financial support because they pissed me off especially my mother. She tolerated her sons' wrongdoings so she is the one to be blamed for  the miseries she is suffering right now. I asked my little sister once in a while if there is a little change with the way they live their life there but unfortunately, nothing has changed.

As they continue living miserably and not thinking of at least saying no to her sons, she will not hear anything from me or receive any financial blessing because I don't want to become like her. She is being disrespected by her children because she let them do it to her. She is being manipulated by those SOBS and all she does is nag at them which is very ineffective.

She cannot even call the police when that severely addicted son of hers sold some of the things she left in the house, too afraid that he'd get back at her once he's out of jail or she probably love him too much that she just let him be. Sad truth!

The hell I care about them anymore. I live my life the way it is and thankful I am thousands of miles away from them so I can be peaceful.

Where Did the Time Go?

Tomorrow will be my firstborn's 7th birthday. I cannot almost believe that I now have a 7-year old girl who for me will always be my first baby. J is such a sweet and truly a good girl. When I scold her, she wouldn't talk back at me like what I did to my mother when I was growing up. I am glad she doesn't do that or I might have to think that the curse is slapping at me, haha.

Anyway, I am just happy to have cared and witnessed my girl's growth and all her developments. From the moment she was born until now, I can see she is growing to be healthy ( except for her bowel movement problems since she was 3) , has happy heart, full of life and most of all a loving child. I love her to death and I can't wait to take her to a happy place where she can play a lot and have a blast.

 

 

He Caught a Bug

I was shocked when my husband came home at 12 in the afternoon which is not so him! Meaning, it is not his habit to just work half a day unless he is feeling poorly and could not last a day at work. That is exactly what he told me as soon as I greeted him in the kitchen. He actually texted me that he is coming home soon but didn't get to read it after an hour later.

Poor husband, looks like he has a flu virus for he complains about body aches. If one member of the family has the virus, it is expected that it will contaminate all of us. Our girls has been sneezing and coughing for two days now but no complain of body aches or fever yet. I, on the other hand, starting to feel scratchy and hoarse throat. This is not so good, I tell you!

Good thing though that there will be no school the entire week next week for Spring break. At least, if I get sick, I don't have to worry about getting up early every morning just to prepare my student for school. By the time the break ends, hopefully we'll be all healed.

Wise Baby I Have Always Wants To Cling On Me

My 13-month old baby girl is so wise that she just want to cling on me all the time. That is not right because I got a lot of work to do both offline and online. When she is awake all she wants is to skin to skin with me even when I'm in the kitchen, showering or relieving myself in the bathroom. I know she won't always be a baby but for God's sake, I need some "me" time too. Is that too much to ask?

A lot of people advice me to buy a baby carrier specifically a cloth baby sling so that I can just put her in my back or in any position convenient for both of us. I don't know why I haven't done that yet while in fact, it is the most essential thing to have these days. I promise I will try to browse and search for the best baby gear pretty soon so I can just carry my baby with me whenever I need to get some things done without being bothered by her.

We Are Okay Now, She Said

This is a picture of me and my cousin, Marissa taken over two years ago. This is the last picture we had together! Damn I missed her. We used to be so close together until that unthinkable big fight happened between us that separated our bond for over two long years! We have had no contacts with each other within those years and it sucked!

Well, not really totally no contact for I've been trying to reach her by texts and emails but I received not a single reply from her until December 2009 she sent me her very first long email pabuhagay sa iya gibati towards me. Then after that, months have passed by back into cold war situation again. I somehow tried my luck just a week ago. I sent her a text with a beautiful saying expressing how I missed her and voila! She replied.

From then on, we are now back in contact with each other through text messages. She confirmed that "we are now okay" although I feel she is still not letting her guards down and continues to hide behind those walls.

I understand her though for what we've been through, it would be awkward and hard to just be back to normal right away... just like what we were before this big fight happened. Time will come we are gonna be closed again but I don't expect things to be the same again. Too many feelings were hurt, too many souls were damaged and most of all the scar will always be in our hearts that reminds us what had happened.

I Can't Stop Buying Stuff For My Daughters

Whether there is an occasion or not, if I go to the store or at the mall I can't help but by something for my girls my eldest daughter especially to let her know mommy loves her. She thinks I am nice if I give her anything that she likes. You know kids are easy to please, give her very little but nice toys they will surely appreciate it. It's Mother's Day that we are going to celebrate 3 weeks from now yet here I am browsing for gifts for your daughters on the internet. Instead of me being given something by my daughter why in the world it is me planning of giving something to my first born? Well, I will leave it like that because she is still young and little. Someday, when she has a job she'll probably return all the favor that I did to her when she was young.

Wants To Attend The Party

How amazing it is for a four-year old child's mind associating birthdays with PARTIES. I told her last night that it was her Auntie Alex's 12 birthday yesterday Philippine time and she said, I wanna go to Auntie Alex and attend the party!

Teewweeewww! I can't help but laugh out loud because of her statement. I didn't expect that all. How I wish we can be there with my sister so to make her 12th birthday a memorable one, I can only do simple things to make her happy on her big day but sadly, I am too far away from her.

I feel kind of guilty for I only greeted her on chikka that goes directly to her phone a happy birthday and one on Facebook. I wish I had the motivation to call the Philippines but the situation is so different now that my father is gone. I can't help but wish sometimes he was still alive and be the first one to answer the phone whenever I call my family.

My Parents

I scanned some old photos of our wedding 7 years back and I saw there is one shot of my parents. Who would have thought that my father would die 7 years after he handed his daughter to a foreign man. Yet I still consider myself lucky because my father was still around and was able to walk with me in the aisle during my wedding.

My marriage to my husband was the beginning of my close relationship to my father blossomed. If it wasn't because of it, I don't know if me and him will share that bond a father and daughter should share. I don't think I was close to either of my parents when I was growing up because they were both busy with bringing home some money so the family had something to eat while the mother have always been busy with other kids and her chores.

My Parents

I scanned some old photos of our wedding 7 years back and I saw there is one shot of my parents. Who would have thought that my father would die 7 years after he handed his daughter to a foreign man. Yet I still consider myself lucky because my father was still around and was able to walk with me in the aisle during my wedding.

My marriage to my husband was the beginning of my close relationship to my father blossomed. If it wasn't because of it, I don't know if me and him will share that bond a father and daughter should share. I don't think I was close to either of my parents when I was growing up because they were both busy with bringing home some money so the family had something to eat while the mother have always been busy with other kids and her chores.

My Half Sister

For most of you do not know that I have a half sister named Veronica. She is my father's daughter from the past before he met my mother. For 27 years I was curious to see my half sister in picture but things have their own time to happen. I first met her during my last vacation in the Philippines last December 2010. All my life I never really expected to have met her, although I and the rest of my siblings were aware that we do have a half sister yet we never really do something to meet her.

The first photo is of me and Vee. Can you believe how pretty she is and how she got my father's features in the face, nose, eyes, mouth and even the height for she is very tall.

.....the second photo below is of me, our father, Vee and my lil sister and my daughter at my grandma's place in Subasta, Calinan

...... Our second meeting with our sister was during our father's death just two months ago. It is so sad that we gathered like that just because somebody had died and of all the people on Earth, it's our father that we lost. 

My Half Sister

For most of you do not know that I have a half sister named Veronica. She is my father's daughter from the past before he met my mother. For 27 years I was curious to see my half sister in picture but things have their own time to happen. I first met her during my last vacation in the Philippines last December 2010. All my life I never really expected to have met her, although I and the rest of my siblings were aware that we do have a half sister yet we never really do something to meet her.

The first photo is of me and Vee. Can you believe how pretty she is and how she got my father's features in the face, nose, eyes, mouth and even the height for she is very tall.

.....the second photo below is of me, our father, Vee and my lil sister and my daughter at my grandma's place in Subasta, Calinan

...... Our second meeting with our sister was during our father's death just two months ago. It is so sad that we gathered like that just because somebody had died and of all the people on Earth, it's our father that we lost. 

The Same Scene

This photo above is of my little siblings and my baby sleeping together in one bed the very night we arrived here. This scene was the same scene I have seen during our last visit. How sweet of my little siblings to welcome Jadyn into their home. They treat my baby as their sister and take note, all of their attentions are always with my baby when they are not in school. I loveeeeeeee just the way Baden and my brother and sister play and get along well with each other.

The Same Scene

This photo above is of my little siblings and my baby sleeping together in one bed the very night we arrived here. This scene was the same scene I have seen during our last visit. How sweet of my little siblings to welcome Jadyn into their home. They treat my baby as their sister and take note, all of their attentions are always with my baby when they are not in school. I loveeeeeeee just the way Baden and my brother and sister play and get along well with each other.

Anxious Being With Them Again

It feels like it is another dream come true for me again. It is because I cannot go home anytime I want to due to the fact of the far distance I am away from home plus the big expense it cost us to plan for a trip to the Philippines. That is why I cannot see my family as often as I want and I am sure most people living abroad can somehow relate to me. They all know that in order for the trip to be done, they have to have enough budget to spend while in the country, let alone the cost of tickets can potentially leave other people pay off their credit cards for several months.

With all these being said, I am anxious to be with my family again especially my little siblings, Alex and Adong. They are so dear to me that I miss them constantly. I am excited but I guess they are more anxious of me to be with them once again so we can create a more solid bonding and love, a bond only brothers and sisters share. 

.... photo above is of my little brother, little sissy, mama and cousin Dianne from Davao....

Anxious Being With Them Again

It feels like it is another dream come true for me again. It is because I cannot go home anytime I want to due to the fact of the far distance I am away from home plus the big expense it cost us to plan for a trip to the Philippines. That is why I cannot see my family as often as I want and I am sure most people living abroad can somehow relate to me. They all know that in order for the trip to be done, they have to have enough budget to spend while in the country, let alone the cost of tickets can potentially leave other people pay off their credit cards for several months.

With all these being said, I am anxious to be with my family again especially my little siblings, Alex and Adong. They are so dear to me that I miss them constantly. I am excited but I guess they are more anxious of me to be with them once again so we can create a more solid bonding and love, a bond only brothers and sisters share. 

.... photo above is of my little brother, little sissy, mama and cousin Dianne from Davao....

Mama Is Okay

I was kind of worried when my brother chatted with me the other night about mama having a mild stroke. Well, it wasn't the case. He only made it sounded as if she was serious (which I hope she isn't). Although I heard mama was complaining about the pain she feels in her left arm the previous days I've chatted with them.

Last night, I was able to talk to my mother, yes she is still hurting there in fact she had a sling in her arm. I promised her to bring her to the doctor for general health check up when I get there. My brother couldn't do it as he no longer has the funds to pay for the check up so I'll do it. 4 weeks remaining and I am going no matter what. God will give us the chance for safe travels so we can make it there safe and sound!

Mama Is Okay

I was kind of worried when my brother chatted with me the other night about mama having a mild stroke. Well, it wasn't the case. He only made it sounded as if she was serious (which I hope she isn't). Although I heard mama was complaining about the pain she feels in her left arm the previous days I've chatted with them.

Last night, I was able to talk to my mother, yes she is still hurting there in fact she had a sling in her arm. I promised her to bring her to the doctor for general health check up when I get there. My brother couldn't do it as he no longer has the funds to pay for the check up so I'll do it. 4 weeks remaining and I am going no matter what. God will give us the chance for safe travels so we can make it there safe and sound!

Bonding With Her Dada

Simple moments like this is worth keeping for so Jadyn can have something to look at when she grows up. A moment spent with her dada or with me is priceless and I wouldn't exchange it for a million dollar. My family is all I have and I love both my husband and baby so much. I am thankful to God for giving them to me. They are my treasure.

Bonding With Her Dada

Simple moments like this is worth keeping for so Jadyn can have something to look at when she grows up. A moment spent with her dada or with me is priceless and I wouldn't exchange it for a million dollar. My family is all I have and I love both my husband and baby so much. I am thankful to God for giving them to me. They are my treasure.

The Artist's Head

Robert "Bob" Arneson was my father inlaw's close buddy when they were growing up and neighbors in Benicia, California. He was a famous artist in his town which happened to die of cancer ten years ago. My husband met him years ago when he was still alive and back then he was already famous.

We were able to visit a place or a park where he donated a piece of art, as you can see it is his head sculpture planted in the said area in memory of him. I can't believe we were there, such a very pleasant place to be...You ask anyone in Benicia and rest assured he will tell you a lot of things about the man, yes that's how famous he was.